User blog:Ze Pistachio/Girl Survivor Haters

So I don't know the names of the male and female survivor, or the dragon, so I'm just going to substitute names that not all of you will agree with. So Bob, the male survivor at this point in the storyline has found Blonde, the female survivor, and beaten Shawn the dragon. He gets ready to leave block world once and for all.

I write this for all the girl survivor haters out there.

Bob's POV

I jump onto Shawn. "There's a bigger problem," Shawn says, "Than the monsters. Haven't you noticed we're all square? It wasn't always like this..." I shrug. "I can handle being square." "I think I know how to fix it..." Blonde says, jumping onto Shawn in front of me. For the first time, I realize that she'a a full head shorter than me. Shawn flaps his wings running to achieve take off speed. Then, we're weightless, soaring with Shawn. "Now that we've fixed the zombie apocalypse, we've got to fix this." The exhaustion of the last few updates(weeks in pixel world) wash over me. "No." Blonde looks surprised. "Why not?" Anger rises in me. "You started the zombie apocalypse that ruined my home! You wiped out a pixel city, destroyed a hospital, ruined the pixel national park, and killed everyone in your school! You didn't care about the innocent villagers, you didn't care that three thousand years of Egyptian history was destroyed, you didn't care that I put my life on the line while you just climbed to some high place and watched me die, so how come now you care about our graphics?! I'm going home!" "Shawn was the one that sent the monsters!" She protested. "But every time I asked you if you wanted the sniper gun I got from the chicken man, you declined! I'm tired of you just watching while I die and respawn. How did you even get that high in the first place?" "But I can't interfere with the-" she suddenly blanched and shut up, like she'd said something that she shouldn't have. "The what?" Shawn shifted, nervous. "We can argue later, Bob. For right now-" "You ruined my world, now I'll get you." Understanding dawns, and I see fear in her eyes. Shawn suddenly opens his mouth, but I've already kicked her off. "Happy respawning!" I call down. I watch her disappear into the code, blinking once and vanishing. "Bro, don't you think that was a bit much?" Shawn twists around his head to look at me. "She's just going to become another monster." "Monster?" "Haven't you ever thought about your spent lives? When you die, the code takes the infected part of you and cuts that out. They turn that into something mutated, and the uninfected part takes in a little pixels from the surroundings, then respawns. Your consciousness is shifted to the buttons room, where you select respawn here or respawn somewhere else, right?" I nod. "She's becoming part of the code right now. The code just took all her pixels apart, that's why she vanished, then the code drops the bit into the monster tank. The code creates a few pixels to replace the ones you absorbed, transplants your brain somewhere designated by the code as a respawn spot, or if you were killed by another player, takes a few pixels for the injury and respawns. If people delete the game, their entire account, gold, experience, equipment, is dropped into the monster tank." "How do you know this much?" "Because I was in the monster tank. I'm a hybrid of several parallel monsters, the non humanoid bosses, and a dragon from Minecraft, because all first person shooters are connected. Our graphics were similar enough merge, and I also got brains, gold, and experience from several deleted accounts. People with dragon's breath, a few prototypes, anti gravity for my wings, even a diablo contributed. I also have deleted weapons, like the skeleton sword, space sabre before it was renamed, and the emperor's sword. I was going to be the end boss for the Unpixelated world, but I got too strong too quickly, and they couldn't keep me in the current monster tank." Shawn sighed. "Why are you even telling me all this? Isn't this supposed to be Rilisoft's secret?" Shawn shrugged, nearly throwing me off. "Plot reasons. Did you know there's a person called Ze Pistachio writing this as we speak? She's like Santa, (🎅🎶and it's a creepy stalker guy, and it's a creepy stalker guy🎶) she knows everything and she's making me say this right now for undisclosed plot reasons." "Oh, I'm okay with that for crazy plot reasons so the characters won't rebel and the story become too hard to manage."

Omnipresent Stalker's POV(AKA the narrator, or me)

And so we have it, what happened to Blonde, you wonder? Well, here you go.

Blonde's POV

That ignorant country redneck! I think to myself as I drink the invisibility potion and open my hang glider. I am SO reporting him. Opening my smartphone, I text Rilisoft.

Main character is not following storyline. Ban him until he understands. Water boarding is highly recommended, we must control the story line! Come out with a few extra updates so gamers won't get bored with us while they wait for Unpixelated world.

And there you have it, the delusional ramblings of Ze Pistachio.

And yeah...

The end, sort of. But this could be a reason why Rilisoft is taking so long on the third world.